Hi, I saw you from over there and thought, hey, maybe that girl w...''Hey, can you shut up for a second?''skip intro''...and that's why I still live with my dad.''Come on, don't you wish you could do that in real life?
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K, did I hear you hooked up with your ex last night?''Yeah, but I can explain. I was writing a text to tell him I'm totally over him. It came out as 'I MISS U WANT TO COME OVER?''Damn you auto correct.
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I checked in on Foursquare, then published that check-in on twitter and Facebook. Then I checked in on Facebook Places. And updated my status telling people what a good time I was having there. And you DARE to ask me what I did last night?''I…''Whatever, luddite.
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The DMV sucks. At least there's a cute guy to look at. Uh-oh he's going to talk to me.''Hey what's your number? Oh! Well, it's 816-651-0...''I meant your ticket number. I think you're up.''Doh... look at that...'
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Oh no.''What?''My wife just walked in.''Is she going to be made you're talking to me?''Worse.''A round of shots here!
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I can't believe it… K?' 'Yeah?' 'Oh my God, it's been so long!' 'Totally! Hold on, can you speak into my phone?' 'What? Ok. Anyway, wow, it's been years, you're looking great, I love your dress. How is everything?' 'Everything is… going well…' 'BZZZZ' '…Abby.' 'No way.' 'Yup. Shazam for people.' 'You are a genius.
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What's wrong, K? You look... worried.''Oh god, It's been three days and he hasn't called.''Ok, hold on. Did you give him your number?''Oh god, I didn't give him my number.
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How's it going, K?''Amazing.''I just met my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend.''And?''She's fat.''Is that why 'We Are The Champions' is playing on the jukebox on repeat?''I'm so glad I had a $20 bill on me.
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Hey, did you ever write that letter to your future self like you were talking about the other day?''Sure did.''Well, where is it?''I left it in my bathroom.''But I wanted to read it.''Don't worry about it. Let's have another round.''You sure?''Yeah.''Dear K. of tomorrow, I'm really, really sorry for this hangover. P.S.: Don't freak out, you ate beets yesterday.
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Ok, so here's the thing: it's one fifteen in the morning, I'm pretty wasted, and you should, like, come over. Hello? Hello? Ok, so I paraphrased a little, but you were the one who said, 'if it worked for that Lady Antebellum chick, it'll work for you.
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