'K, weren't we at this bar last week?''You know, it does look familiar. Let me check.''I wish I hadn't just seen you lying face down on the floor of a crowded bar.''You were right, this is it. Let's not order shots this time.
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I hate noisy bars.'' Why? Bartender got your order wrong?''I wish.''So I meet this guy on the line to the bathroom, right? He invites me out to his place, and I say yes, because you know me and guys that play in rock bands.''I ended up in his living room playing Rock Band.''And you can't drum for crap.''Then there's that, too.
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'K, I have a friend who wants to take you out to dinner.''Sell me on it.''He's this tall... blond hair, good job, own house, sweet car...''You know what? Yawn. Sell harder.''He's an orphan. No inlaws ever? Call him and give him my address, I'll meet him there in twenty minutes.
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I feel like I'm in Hollywood. Half of my Facebook friends are celebrities.''You wish. That's just your friends' pictures of their doppelgangers.''What the hell is a doppleganger?''It's German. It means 'skinny person I'd look like if I wasn't a fatass.''I wish I spoke German.
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K, did I just see you fall in love over there?''WHAT?''Listen, I know you around guys. I see you being funny and sexy and smart all the time, but that's just you looking for a hook-up. Now, whenever you become a bumbling mess...''Here's your drink, K-Star.'
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